By: Felix A. Perez, LCSW, Director, Founder and Owner of Perez Therapy, LLC and a psychotherapist and social worker for 20 years.
Introduction
So, you’ve made the decision to look into finally starting therapy, but where do you even start? There are many factors to consider from therapist style, background, experience and credentials, availability, and many more. The process of finding a new therapist can feel confusing, stressful and overwhelming. This blog is written to give you some guidance on how to navigate the process of finding the right therapist.
Whether you are located in the Greater Philadelphia Area, and looking for us, Perez Therapy, for services or located in another area, the below factors are written to help you organize your thoughts and narrow your search to finding the right therapist for you! If you’re only looking for therapists that are in-network, we recommend also reading our other blog: Finding the Right Therapist: Navigating In-Network vs Out-of-Network Insurance.
I’ve been a therapist for 17 years and have often been asked by people about how to find a therapist. So, these questions and these points should not be considered legal advice. This is written just from my personal experience of helping people connect to a therapist at my company or elsewhere. It’s important that you get to the right therapist, whether it’s with us or not!
1. First and most importantly, what brings you to therapy?
It's important that you find someone who you believe is going to be able to help you, given your reason for seeking therapy, so what brings you to therapy?
These are a few of the top reasons people tell me they come to therapy:
· Personal growth and accountability for that growth.
· Perspective, another opinion, and someone with expertise.
· To have someone to talk to, process life or tell their story.
· To address a specific issue that has happened or keeps happening.
· To work through trauma and new or old wounds. For healing.
Whatever the reason, write down what is bringing you to therapy and what you want to gain from it.
2. Make a list of what's important to you in a therapist.
Consider if any of these things matter to you in a therapist:
· Language, racial background, ethnic group
· Their gender or sexual orientation
· Their age or age group
· Their experience doing therapy, license, certifications or specialized training (read more of that below)
In my experience, people want a therapist who is smart, compassionate, and practical. But people also want to feel comfortable.
These are a few examples of why some clients have chosen me as a therapist over the years:
· Because I shared their same ethnic background, gender, sexual orientation, or I was a member of their community or from Philadelphia.
· My years of experience doing therapy – clocking in at 17 years…has it been that long?!
· I do both individual and couples therapy.
· I speak Spanish or because I’m Latino of Puerto Rican descent.
· My practice as a mindfulness-oriented therapist and a practitioner of IFS, Internal Family Systems.
· I’m a neighborhood Fishtown provider, and people like in-person therapy in a beautiful office they can walk to. Yes, I decorated it myself with artwork from a local artist and friend.
· I once had a client who said he picked me as his therapist because I wore glasses. Hey, that’s what helped him feel comfortable!
Whatever’s important to you, put pen to paper, and write it down.
At my company, we like to brag about the cultural diversity of our team, and the number of staff who are Spanish-speaking.
3. Do you know what clinical approach works for you? If you don’t know, that’s also ok!
Again, consider what’s bringing you to therapy. Also, allow for some trust, that a therapist can also tell you whether they can ethically treat whatever you’re bringing into therapy.
I’ll also share a few articles that you might want to read to familiarize yourself with a few clinical approaches that therapists practice. If you’re interviewing potential therapists, ask them about their clinical approach! Some of the popular ones are CBT, DBT, EMDR, IFS, Gottman, Imago, EFT..a little bit of alphabet soup, but for an exhausting… I mean, exhaustive list of clinical therapeutic modalities and treatment approaches, see this list here. Although, it’s not intended to help in understanding which might be best for you. You can reference the examples I gave above.
Here are some of the modalities that I use in my practice:
· Internal Family Systems (IFS): no, it’s not a family therapy approach. It’s a therapy for individuals who want to understand their inner family, also called their parts. It’s a mindfulness-based approach that helps people not shame or guilt their parts for feelings, but help them understand them and lead them, instead of them taking over. It’s also built on the idea that all of us have an inner power, called Self. Self has awesome powers, but often is hidden by the response of our parts, that are excellent at taking over. And when they do, they control us and it’s hard for us to break long-lasting patterns in our life. …I have much more to say about IFS, but I recommend people read this blog to get some more detailed information of how IFS works.
· Gottman Method: based on the Sound Relationship House Theory, it helps couples understand how trust and commitment are the pillars of a strong relationship, upon which all other levels of the house are built. It’s the basis for my couples counseling approach that I use with my clients. In fact, there is a Gottman Relationship Checkup, a couple’s assessment assessing the strengths and challenges of the couple across the domains of the Sound Relationship House. It’s routine practice for my couples to take this quiz as part of our assessment process into therapy.
· Queer/Radical/Feminist/Social Justice Oriented Therapy: because I’m trained as a social worker, I’m familiar and oriented around a theory that helps people reclaim power under systems of oppression. If it’s important that your therapist understand the impact of racial hegemony, the patriarchy, transphobia/queerphobia, or any other social justice issue, please prioritize that in your search!
If you’re coming for drug or alcohol treatment, you should consider if an outpatient or intensive outpatient drug treatment program is good for you, or if a higher level of care is more appropriate. For this article, we’ll be covering areas related to mental health counseling, not treatment for substance use.
4. Have you been to therapy before? Consider your prior experience.
Some people are very pro-therapy and see it as a lifelong aspect of their lives, while others may have had a poor experience and are timid about trying it again. If you’ve had a negative experience in therapy, there is reason to need to think about whether therapy is for you. Certainly, I’m a proponent of therapy, but if you’ve not had a good experience but want to try it again, I encourage you to share about your negative experience with your therapist.
5. If you can’t decide on which therapist to pick, consider interviewing a few potential therapists, before scheduling a first appointment.
Many therapists allow you a 15-minute consultation to meet with them, ask questions, and hear about how they practice. Here you can learn what clinical approaches this therapist might use or if they are familiar with your culture or communities that you belong to. In this interview, you’re determining if you feel comfortable with trying out a session with this person. Not all can be discussed, but this should be enough time to see if you’d like to schedule an appointment.
Ask the therapist if they would be willing to do an initial consultation via video, so you can get a sense of their personality and if you both are a good fit. If you’re not sure about which therapist to pick, then maybe consider interviewing multiple therapists, then making a decision on who to schedule a first appointment with.
6. When are you available for therapy? Can you be flexible with your time?
The pandemic gave many people lots of flexibility with their jobs, but not everyone. If you do have flexibility, it might help you find the right person, as sometimes therapists only have slots available during the daytime. If you can flex your schedule, it may help you find a provider who is the best fit for you. I’ve had clients who did not think their employers would accommodate them flexing their schedule an hour or two, and they were able.
7. Do you prefer in-person appointments, or can you manage telehealth?
Since the pandemic happened, I’ve mostly practiced virtually, but keep a beautiful and cozy office in Fishtown. Many residents love walking to the office to see someone in-person. Other people are too busy to travel, or just like the convenience of taking their lunch break to do a session, or scheduling it at 5pm, when their full-time jobs are over.
Benefits of Telehealth: Convenience! Probably, number 1 for most people.
Yet, it may take away from the experience for some people. Everyone is different, but I can say with certainty, that I’ve helped many people through the pandemic and beyond and have never seen them in-person. Therapy is a powerful tool and can span the cybernetic space to reach you wherever you are.
But if you’re still a fan of in-person, make that a priority in your search! We have a lovely office. See?
8. No matter who you choose, make the investment of time weekly or biweekly. Stick to it for a few months.
I think most therapists would agree that it can take time to really explore and understand yourself in therapy.
· Try to invest in doing it for at least a few months, or 6 to 8 sessions with a therapist to see how you like it.
· Try not to judge any individual session, but what they can give you over time.
· Try and remember that it often takes time to feel comfortable with someone.
Therapists all have their unique assessment and intake process, which can take some time. Then you want to create a treatment plan for whatever you’re coming in to discuss, even if that is just processing the in’s and out’s of life.
9. Be direct with your therapist. They will appreciate it!
No, you won’t come off as rude.
Any good therapist really wants to make you feel comfortable. In fact, it’s probably what you’ll hear in many of their profiles! And it’s true, we do want you to feel comfortable, so it's best that you tell us whatever you’re thinking, even if it's feedback about how therapy is working (or not working) for you.
For me, asking my clients to give me direct feedback is a practice I’ve been doing as routine, especially at the start of my relationship with them. “How is this going for you?” is a simple way for us to check in on how I’m doing as your new therapist. Even if your therapist doesn’t ask you this, it’s best to let them know. Consider adding it to your agenda for the next session to discuss. In my opinion, any good therapist should be able to take feedback. Even if my client is disappointment, anger, or upset with something I’ve done, I always want the opportunity to repair and get it right.
For me, I would appreciate the opportunity to apologize, reassess what happened, and make a plan to make sure we’re on the same page moving ahead. In fact, it’s also important that a therapist revisit the discussion in a few sessions, or the next session, to make sure that things are going well post-feedback. Therapists should remain humble…IMHO.
Conclusion
This blog is intended to give you some guidance on how to navigate making a match with a therapist. It’s written from my experience as a therapist for almost 20 years, so (you know) not legal advice. You may have other priorities in a therapist, which weren’t covered in this blog. Just remember, whatever is important to you, write it down, and know that when you’re selecting a therapist. If you’re not sure, then it’s most important that you feel comfortable with them, can commit to doing the work, and can invest/afford to go over time, at least 6 to 8 sessions.
Whether we, at Perez Therapy, are the best therapist for you, is for you to decide, but I welcome you to consider any of the above, when selecting your new therapist. Please feel free to email me at Info@PerezTherapyLLC.com, if you have any questions about our practice. Me or someone from our team will be glad to help you with any questions you have. Whether we can help you or not, we hope to, at least, point you in the right direction on how to find a therapist.
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About the Author: Felix A. Perez, LCSW is the owner and founder of Perez Therapy, LLC, a group psychotherapy practice in Fishtown, Philadelphia. We provide individual therapy, couples counseling and family therapy - all services are available in English and Spanish, virtually and in-person as well. Visit our website: PerezTherapyLLC.com or our social medias pages @PerezTherapyLLC.
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